


Jason Todd's Trust

by jaybird_elliott2020



Series: Trans Jason [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Coming Out, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Light Smut, M/M, Masturbation, Minor Violence, Platonic Cuddling, Protective Jason Todd, Protective Tim Drake, Sleepy Cuddles, Trans Jason Todd, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:21:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25093018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaybird_elliott2020/pseuds/jaybird_elliott2020
Summary: Tim comes to Jason after an altercation at a bar where homophobic frat boys beat him up and they have a blossoming relationship. Jason, however, is afraid to confess his feeling to Tim because it also means leaving himself vulnerable in more ways than one.
Relationships: Tim Drake/Jason Todd
Series: Trans Jason [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1817788
Comments: 2
Kudos: 142





	Jason Todd's Trust

Jason was shirtless when Tim broke into his apartment.

“What the fuck are you doing here replacement?” Jason shot, scrambling to grab his hoodie of the hook by the door. As he zipped it, he took in the small boy before him.

Tim was hunched over in full Tim Drake apparel. His hand was clutching the front of his dress shirt and he waddled gingerly as he walked to Jason’s couch. He collapsed into the cushions with a grunt and a hiss and Jason could see he had a split lip and a good sized bruise on his cheek. Sure his injuries were strange for civilian clothes, but none of his injuries seemed life threatening. Which begged the question of why Tim came _here_.

“What happened to you?” Jason asked, getting a bag of frozen peas from the fridge getting his med-kit from the cabinet.

Tim shook his head and didn’t respond.

Jason sat next to Tim on the couch. “C’mon Tim. Talk to me. You know how this works.”

  
“Upper East Side.” Tim gritted through clenched teeth, his fist tightening against his shirt.

Jason shone a light in Tim’s eyes. No concussion.

“Couple of Gotham U boys,” Tim said. His eyes started to water.

Jason couldn’t stop himself before he reacted. “What the fuck did they do?”

“Nothing Jay,” Tim panted. Jason hadn’t even realized he was losing his breath until he spoke. He immediately corrected his behavior and started unbuttoning Tim’s shirt.

“What are you doing?” Tim yelped, moving as quickly as he could (which wasn’t very quick in his current state but impressive nonetheless).

“Listen I’m assuming you came here for a reason,” Jason said. Tim quirked an eyebrow. “Probably something that has to do with the fact that you’re supposed to be sleeping in the Manor right now recovering from being kidnapped and you don’t want to be scolded by Alfred.” Tim darted his gaze away from Jason. Guilt all over his face. “So since you aren’t seein’ Alf tonight, or probably ever, I’m your doctor. Got it? Or do you need to be anesthetized?”

Tim shook his head and settled back into the couch.

“Cool,” Jason said. He started unbuttoning Tim’s shirt. Admittedly he got a bit distracted by the way Tim’s lean muscle flinched whenever Jason’s hand brushed against his skin, but he was totally, 100 percent professional about the whole thing. He used firm grasps against Tim’s ribs, not too hard but not too soft either, so there was no confusion about his intentions. He asked permission before he did anything that involved him touching Tim and Tim was outwardly grateful for it, which made Jason a little angry again, because it meant _someone_ had done _something_ to Tim that made him believe his permission wasn’t required for them to touch him, but that was besides the point.

“”kay,” Jason finally said. “All done.”

“What’s the verdict, doc?” Tim asked. “Will I walk again?”

“Ha, very funny. Yeah. You’ll walk. But your ribs are bruised to absolute shit. Like I’m honestly surprised they aren’t completely shattered. But you’ll be ok,” Jason assured. He handed Tim two small white pills. “Take these.”

“What are they?” Tim asked.

“For the pain. I’m not trying to kill you, idiot,” Jason shot, more defensive than he intended.

“I wasn’t accusing you. “

They sat in silence for a little while. Only the sounds of Jason tapping his foot and Tim nursing a bottle of water around the pills filled the room. Until Jason spoke.

“So are you gonna tell me what happened?” he asked.

“Do you actually give a shit?” Tim shot back, narrowing his eyes, but very obviously fighting tears.

“Yes,” Jason answer, his voice steady and sincere.

Tim stared at him for a moment, a bit shocked before realizing the weight of Jason’s answer and turning his head to look out the window.

“Tim—” Jason began. He meant to apologize for pushing. Their relationship was strained to begin with and Jason really didn’t want to do anything to fuck it up. He felt bad enough about trying to kill the kid.

“I snuck out,” Tim said. Jason nodded his head, encouraging Tim to continue. Tim took a deep breath and wiped his eyes quickly before turning back to Jason. “Bruce grounded me after I went into a drug raid without backup, not because I got kidnapped. He told me I was an irresponsible child and that I wasn’t fit for my mantle. That I needed to do a whole lot of growing up before I was ready for any kind of responsibility again.”

Jason’s blood was boiling, but he clenched his fists and let Tim continue.

“I went to a bar to do recon on a dealer that was meeting with Scarecrow. To show Bruce I could handle myself in the field. But the guy ended up bailing last minute and I found myself in the middle of a bunch of Gotham U frat boys. They bought me drinks and talked me up and one of them offered to take me home, but I said I couldn’t because my dad thought I was at a movie with friends tonight. He got mad. Like really, really mad.” Tim stopped and sniffled. “I don’t even really know how it happened, how they got the jump on me, but they did. And, uh, they … they just kept wailing on me a-and calling me a fag.” Tim was choking on his voice. “And th-they kept screaming die, die, die, die. And so many people saw it. We were in an alley but so many people saw it. And they just kept walking. They didn’t _do_ anything, Jason. They just let it happen!” Tim buried his face in his hands and sobbed.

Without a second thought, Jason gathered Tim up in his arms and pressed the younger’s face into his neck.

“I could have stopped them,” Tim muttered, hiccupping through a sob. “I’m trained to fight. But I just let them. I let them! Because part of me thinks I deserved it.” Tim shook his head. “Because I’m gay, openly gay. Because I’m Bruce Wayne’s son. Because I’m a Drake. Because I’m set to inherit two major corporations. I’m a _target_. And I can’t even make it easier for myself by not dating men.”

“No,” Jason said.

“What?” Tim sniffled, sitting up again and looking at Jason, his brow furrowed like he was preparing to yell at Jason next.

“I said, no,” Jason barked. He took Tim’s face in his hands. “None of this happened because of you. It happened because some assholes think they have the right to other people’s bodies, other people’s lives. They don’t. If they’re being homophobic as shit, that’s something they should work out on their own, not by using you as a punching bag. None of this is your fault. None of it. Do you understand me?”

Tim’s eyes were wide, and his lips parted a little like he might answer, but he kept staring at Jaosn in awe.

“Say you understand me!” Jason barked; his voice shaky. He felt a little bad about raising his voice, but he needed to know.

“I understand,” Tim said, small and weak.

Jason stayed sat with his hands on Tim’s face, staring at his wide eyes. He wanted to say something, but he forgot whenever he remembered he was touching Tim’s face.

“I, um … do you mind if I crash on the couch?” Tim asked finally.

Jason jumped a little and jerked his hands away.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, stay as long as you’d like.”

So Tim did.

~~~

It had been about three months since Tim broke into Jason’s apartment and since then Tim had spent pretty much every spare moment he had there. Jason would come back from patrol more often than not and find Tim passed out in full Red Robin uniform on the couch with Letterman playing on the TV. Or Tim would show up with pizza unannounced, but magically whenever Jason was home, and they would binge any of the number of sitcoms Jason had on DVD.

But the longer whatever they had went on the more difficult it became for Jason to hide certain things.

For example, there was the issue of Jason’s particular sensitivity to nudity. Not particularly other people’s but his own. He had a slew of gnarly scars and a few secrets he’d rather keep close to his chest, even from Tim. Or there was the issue of Jason’s medication, which he took every Thursday (this had a lot to do with the things Jason would rather keep close to his chest). Or the one time Tim walked into the apartment while Jason was masturbating.

Jason didn’t touch himself often, he really didn’t like the feeling or the thought of doing so, but sometimes he got so out-of-control horny it was almost painful not to. He had just gotten off patrol with Tim and spent most of it starting at Tim’s ass in tights.

He threw himself onto his bed and immediately shoved his hands down his pants, palming himself while he pumped lotion into his good hand. He arched his back and groaned when he took his growth in his fingers and pumped.

He couldn’t stop thinking about Tim.

Tim in those tights that hugged his ass in all the best ways. Tim wearing Jason’s shirt the one time they cooked together and Jason made the mistake of leaving Tim in charge of mixing. Tim spread out under him, writhing in pleasure and begging to take Jason’s cock.

“Hey honey I’m home!” Tim called out with a chuckle when he walked in.

Jason jolted upright and tried to fix himself as fast as he could before Tim came into his bedroom looking for him. Unfortunately, he only got as far as yanking his hands out of his pants before Tim was standing in his doorway.

“Hey, what’s up?” Tim asked.

Jason gulped and gave a weak smile.

“Gettin’ ready for bed,” he lied, sitting up and hoping Tim wouldn’t notice the lotion on the nightstand that was usually in the kitchen next to the sink or the fact that Jason’s face was flushed bright red with excitement (and embarrassment).

“Oh, you’re such a lair,” Tim cackled, entering Jason’s bedroom and plopping down on his bed. He scanned the room, looking for a potential explanation when his eyes fell on the lotion on the nightstand. He looked like he was about to ask what it was doing in here, when he noticed Jason was bowing his head and squirming a bit uncomfortably on the bed. Tim stood up. “Uh, were you —"

Jason’s head fell into his hands. “Yes,” he grumbled.

Tim didn’t say anything at first. He just stood at the foot of Jason’s bed and stared at him blankly. Then he started laughing. It was the deep belly laugh that Jason had only hear a handful of times and it left Tim wheezing.

“Oh my God! That’s the best! You were … hahaha!” Tim cackled.

Jason adjusted himself again.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, it’s just … bwahahaha!”

“Yeah, yeah get it all out there kid. ‘Cuz once you stop laughing, I’m kicking the shit out of you,” Jason growled.

Tim wiped his eyes from the tears collecting at the brims and took a steadying breath.

“I’m sorry,” he stated, a bit more seriously this time but still chuckling. “I’m really sorry, Jay.”

“Yeah, ok,” Jason muttered, folding his arms over his chest and glowering at a spot on the wall. “I think you should just go.”

“Wait,” Tim said, his tone more serious than before and a little bit panicked. “Wait, wait, no. I’m really sorry, but please don’t kick me out. Please.” He wasn’t laughing at all anymore. He sounded … he sounded _afraid_.

This was an entirely new territory for Jason. Tim was hardly ever serious with him unless they were talking shop or Bruce. And he was never _afraid_.

“I-I’ll crash on the couch and I’ll leave before you wake up. Please, Jay … just … just don’t make me leave,” he pleaded.

Jason’s arms fell by his sides and he moved to the edge of the bed where Tim was standing and actually _pleading_ to stay with him. He stood and took Tim’s cheek in his hand tenderly.

“Are you—“ Jason began.

He stopped when Tim’s wild and pained blue eyes met his foggy gray ones. They stood like that for what felt like hours. Staring. Unmoving. Silent.

It was Tim who finally pressed his lips desperately into Jason’s. It was Tim who whined into the cavern of Jason’s mouth, reveling in the taste of salty sweat and bitter cigarettes. It was Tim who clung to Jason like they were both seconds away from disappearing or coming to their senses. It was Tim who tackled Jason into the bed and feverishly shoved his hands under Jason’s shirt, grinding into Jason’s lap.

But it was Jason who stopped it.

“Tim,” Jason grunted, gripping Tim’s hips tightly and taking a few shaky breaths. “Tim we … we can’t. We have to stop.”

“Why?” Tim hummed, unbothered by Jason’s hands. He leaned down and pressed his lips into Jason’s neck, suckling at anything unfortunate enough to be exposed.

“Tim,” Jason said, more sternly this time. “I’m serious. Stop.”

Tim straightened in Jason’s lap.

“I thought you wanted to. You’ve been flirting with me for like months and haven’t exactly been subtle about wanting to jump my bones, so what’s wrong?” Tim hissed, folding his arms and planting himself more firmly into Jason’s thighs to punctuate his seriousness.

“I … Tim I want to. I really want to … but I can’t,” he said, straining a little to declare his intention not to slept with Tim tonight.

“Fine,” Tim pouted. “I’ll be on the couch if you change your mind.”

He hopped off Jason and left the room with a little huff.

Jason was left laying on his sheet, sweaty and confused.

“What the fuck just happened?” he said to himself.

~~~

Jason couldn’t sleep.

He could hear Tim clacking away on his keyboard.

He felt absolutely awful about kicking him out of bed. He had wanted him to stay. He _really_ wanted him to stay. They had fallen asleep on the couch together a couple of times, head to toe and partial contact but respectful, and they were some of the best nights sleep Jason had gotten since he died. But mostly he just thought about the fact that he was keeping a secret from Tim. Tim who came to him when he was hurt. Tim who came to Jason’s apartment to escape Bruce, the Manor, crime-fighting, and anything else he didn’t want to face head on. Tim who _trusted_ Jason.

Tim trusted him. And he responded by keeping himself closed off and lying … well maybe not lying but omitting truths Jason himself wasn’t really to keen on tackling.

Some hours passed and the clacking slowed down and eventually stopped entirely. Jason figured Tim had fallen asleep and tried to close his eyes as well.

But the door creaked open again, startling Jason upright with his gun drawn and pointed at the lithe figure entering his bedroom.

“Woah,” Tim voice came. “Don’t shoot. It’s just me.”

Jason’s shoulders dropped and he let out a breath to relax his muscles. “Sorry,” he apologized.

“Don’t be,” Tim brushed him off, coming in further and climbing into Jason’s bed.

“Wa—what are you doing?” Jason stammered while Tim started arranging pillows and blankets comfortably on the unoccupied side of the bed.

“I’m gonna sleep in here,” Tim declared, letting his voice train upwards a bit, leaving plenty of room for Jason to protest. “The couch isn’t as comfortable as your bed and I would like to get at least three hours tonight.”

“Uh, ok,” Jason replied, laying down again, but more tense than he had been when he drew his gun on Tim. He realized the gun was still gripped tightly in his hand and he had to force himself to put it on the nightstand. He would feel better if it was under his pillow but he worried Tim wouldn’t sleep if he knew it was there.

They laid still after that. There wasn’t much noise, except for a couple arguments in the street and the sound of cars starting up in the distance. It was late enough that even Crime Ally was mostly asleep. Still, neither Tim or Jason could sleep.

“Can you…” Tim began after the long bought of silence became too much. He stopped himself before he could say something a more awake Tim might be embarrassed by.

“What?” Jason asked, turned his head to Tim.

“Nothing,” Tim sighed. “Don’t worry about it.”

Jason kept looking at him though.

“Can’t sleep?” he finally asked.

Tim shook his head.

“Me neither,” Jason replied.

“Usually when I’m by you I’m out like a light,” Tim chuckled.

Jason’s face flushed and he jerked his head away from Tim so he was staring at the ceiling.

“Oh god,” Tim grumbled, burying his face in his hands and curling around himself. “Please forget I ever said that. I’m tired.”

“No!” Jason protested, turning back again. He rolled onto his side. Tim’s body flinched at the raised voice and sudden movement, eyes flicking over his hands to asses Jason. “Sorry. No, it’s … I always sleep better when I’m by you too.”

Tim’s mouth curled into a smile, hidden by his hands and he buried his face again.

Jason chuckled a little. “What happened to the boy who was in my lap shoving his hands up my shirt?”

“He died of embarrassment in your living room,” Tim replied. He pulled his hands away from his face. “I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable earlier. I didn’t mean to. It just …”

Jason nodded his head. “I know,” he said.

“You do?” Tim gawked.

“I’ll introduce you to a certain dead, embarrassed boy in my living room who can answer that question.”

“Right,” Tim chuckled nervously.

“It’s ok,” Jason assured him. He reached his hand out and pressed his palm flat against Tim’s cheek. Tim nuzzled into it. The touch seemed to ease his nerves a little bit. “I … I like you too.”

Tim blushed and beamed before closing his eyes tight.

“Then why … why did you kick me out?”

“I didn’t … I didn’t mean it like that. I just … there are some things you need to know before you go trying to get in my pants ok?” Jason said, trying to keep his voice light but letting a bit of frustration shine through.

Tim waited a moment before prompting him with a curious hum of “Like?”

Jason sat up and urged Tim to follow. He took a deep breath and took his shirt off.

There were very clear C-shaped lines along his chest, faded enough it almost completely blended to his tan skin but still obvious enough Jason knew people took notice.

“You –” Tim began.

“I’m trans,” Jason finished. He didn’t really want Tim to say it. He didn’t really want to say it. But he had to. He wanted Tim to know more than he wanted to protect himself.

Tim reached his hand out to Jason chest, but stopped short of touching him. He looked to Jason for protest. Jason just nodded and even took Tim’s hand to press his into his scars.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” Tim asked, eyes wide and confused.

Jason let go to Tim and clenched his eyes shut. “I’m sorry,” was all he could manage.

Tim launched forward and wrapped Jason up in his arms. Jason hadn’t realized there were tears pricking the edge of his vision until his face was pressed to the crook of Tim’s neck. He sobbed like a baby. Tim only clung to him harder.

“I’m really sorry,” Jason cried, wrapping his hands in Tim’s shirt. “I wanted to tell you, but …”

“You were afraid,” Tim supplied.

Jason nodded.

Tim ran his fingers into the curls of Jason’s hair.

“I only ever told Bruce and Alfred really,” Jason sniffled. “They both worked so hard and fought for me to have anything I needed. They didn’t even tell Dick. They always called me Jason. Always. I hate Bruce so much for so many things but he really was good about that. And about keeping it a secret. I didn’t want anyone to know. I’m sorry. I so sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Tim soothed, pulling Jason back and wiping his cheeks. “I know what it’s like. Being afraid like that. Not knowing if the people you care about will look at you differently. I never came out to my parents. Not even to their graves. I’m not mad you didn’t tell me. I’m not. Really.”

“Really?” Jason pleaded. He looked so broken.

Tim nodded his head. “Really. I understand why you didn’t tell me. I also understand how much trust it takes for you to let people know any part of you, especially something like this. The fact that Dick doesn’t even know … I love that you trust me with this. I love that you trust I won’t betray you or use this against you or hurt you with it. I love that we’ve moved on to a point where we can trust each other. I love …”

Tim’s voice died out into the dark room.

“Yeah,” Jason said quietly. “Me too.”

Tim nodded his head and they laid back into the bed. Tim tangled himself into Jason’s bare side, running his fingers lightly over Jason’ ribcage and nosing into the side of his chest. He draped his leg over Jason’s hips and sighed with satisfaction while Jason wrapped his arms around Tim’s body.

They didn’t sleep for very long, but they slept and for them that was the best thing they could do together.


End file.
